Understanding the Tenth Dimension
I've got a new "fan page" on Facebook
I was able to try out some new ideas with that workshop and overall it seemed very successful.
But friends of mine who do Weight Watchers were amazed that I got anyone to come at all. They told me that WW is a ghost town until after the holidays and then standing room only after New Years Day!
So here I go again, January 7&8, 2012. This time I'm adding an optional second day. I'm planning to teach the skills on Saturday, and Sunday will be for deepening them and exploring issues further.
I've booked a nice room at The Flamingo Hotel, which hosts many conferences. I'm really excited about this offering!
Here's a link to the webpage.
Come Learn EFT in Chiang Mai Thailand!
I'm offering a Level One and Two EFT workshop in Thailand this November for EFT Universe. Come join me!November is the start of cooler weather there, and follows the rainy season, so everything should be clean and shiny!
Chiang Mai is one of my favorite places on this planet, and a great place to get any dental work done. The clinics there are world class and very cheap.
Even though the airfare is a bit more (about $1000 right now from San Francisco) it's very inexpensive to be there. Food and guest houses are absurdly cheap and it's a wonderful adventure.
I've written more about Chiang Mai here.
I'm also doing workshops in Santa Cruz, Santa Rosa and Phoenix here in the US this year (2011). These are all through EFT Universe and lead toward certification. Check it out!
Language Barrier
On Sunday I had a client with a very lovely Russian accent. We began doing some Matrix Reimprinting work with a difficult memory and everything seemed to be going well until it was time to ask her echo (younger split off self) what she was feeling. My client got no response. Very unusual!We tried working with some of the other people in the scene and again...no response. Hmmmm. Everything else seemed to be working. She was able to see them clearly and tap on them.
When we went to an earlier memory, when her echo was only four years old, my client suddenly realized "Oh! She doesn't understand me because I'm speaking English! She only speaks Russian!"
I had heard of this happening but had forgotten, in part because my client's English was really good. Once she switched to Russian we were very successful!
The very next day I was working with a Polish woman and knew enough to have her speak Polish to her younger selves. I just thought that was fascinating!
My First Workshops!
These are official certification workshops for EFT Universe. I'm excited to be teaching for them, as the curriculum and program are top notch. I've discovered a burning passion for teaching and I can't wait to be doing these trainings.
Very soon I'll be adding Chiang Mai, Thailand (November) and Santa Rosa, California (January 2012).
New Name and New Website
I hope you like it!
Understanding Oneness Through Science
This beautiful video has a very positive spiritual message, courtesy of quantum physics. It also helps us understand the nature of the Matrix we're working with.
Matrix Reimprinting
I'm in love! Matrix Reimprinting is a fantastic new technique that has captured my heart. This technique uses EFT but takes it a step further. The idea is that whenever we experience trauma (big or small) a part of us splits off and takes up residence in it's own energy field.
We call this split off part an ECHO (energy consciousness hologram) and it's very similar to the idea of an inner child--except that it can be any age (we have plenty of traumas as adults) and it isn't really "inner"--it lives in our energy field.
The amazing thing is that these ECHOs are real. They seem to have an independent, autonomous intelligence. I didn't fully believe this at first, but now that I've worked with enough of them, I know it's true. How do I know? When we ask them a question, the answer is often astonishing to my client. They have their own insights and desires. Really.
So how does it work? To put it very simply, I help my client step into the "matrix" (the field where the ECHO is living) and coach them to tap on their ECHO until the emotional distress is reduced. We then ask the ECHO what they learned about life from that experience. This provides immediate, clear understanding of the client's core beliefs. This is exactly where they come from!
We then ask the ECHO how they would like to change the situation to feel better about it. We can make all kinds of suggestions, practical and magical, but we want the ECHO to come up with the best solution. This is where the client gets some real surprises!
Once the situation is resolved in a good way and the original trauma has been replaced with good, happy feelings, we use an imprinting process to literally transform the original memory into the new picture.
When the client goes to remember the original event, they will see the new, happy picture instead. Or something along those lines.
This is incredibly profound work. Changing these memories seems to transform the original core belief, and bring about a fundamental shift in the person.
Right now it looks like I'll be certified as a Matrix Reimprinting practitioner by the end of April. I've been using it with great success in almost every session.
I'm in love!
If you'd like to book a session let me know. I can do this work over the phone!
Transformational Divorce - On The Radio!
I'm being interviewed on EFT Radio Online next month about my work with Transformational Divorce! The show is on March 9th at 10am and it's a live call in show. It's also available later as a download or podcast.The program is Love Tap Radio with host Alina Frank, an fellow certified EFT practitioner and trainer in the Seattle area.
This is my first radio experience and I'm pretty excited, especially as it's a call in show. Lucky for me the work I've been doing is very interesting and exciting. I think it'll make for a good program.
Emotional Baggage
Packa Pappas Kappsäck (Pack Daddy’s Suitcases), 2006 by Swedish artist Michael Johansson.
The Signal
I’m starting to think that most of us have a little invisible antenna, sticking up from the back of our heads. It’s sending out a signal (beep beep beep) to attract very specific kinds of people and situations into our lives.This image came to me while working with a very nice client I’ll call “Rose”. Again and again Rose would find herself in the same sort of peculiar situations, involving unusually selfish and narcissistic people who would make outrageous demands on her.
Her stories were remarkable, and I was astonished she’d been able to locate so many of these rare (and unlikable) characters. When I asked her about it, Rose was surprised: “What do you mean? Everyone is like that...at least, everyone I know”. This last statement made both of us laugh.
I’ve seen this sort of thing again and again in the couples counseling I do. It’s amazing how people come together to rub each other in just exactly the wrong way. Their issues mesh perfectly. Precisely. How do they find each other? It’s like a miracle.
I’ve come to believe our subconscious sends out secret signals. And of course we must also have subliminal receivers built in. These signals must be very subtle and almost irresistible, because no one would consciously choose to hook up with awful people, right?
So how do we kill the signal? How do we stop calling in the jerks from all directions? Let’s look at the energy powering the signal. My guess is that it comes from bottled up emotions. Unresolved traumas and memories laden with intense fear or shame, anger or sadness; these things “cry out” for resolution.
Unfortunately, the subconscious mind is very literal. It tries to resolve these feelings by reenacting the original scenario. And so the signal goes out, inviting new actors to come play the same old roles in these painful dramas. We may act them out over and over, but it doesn’t usually help.
With EFT, on the other hand, we now have a way to discharge the original emotional intensity. And as the energy behind the signal fades away, we have a new opportunity to change what we’re broadcasting. We can deliberately choose to attract kind, loving people who are generous and supportive. We can call in opportunities for success.
The power behind these new signals comes directly from our decision to “deeply love and completely accept” ourselves. This is the emotional freedom that EFT stands for.
Tapping for a Dog's Fear of Fireworks
Tonight is the Third of July. Even though the big fireworks happen tomorrow night, several towns nearby have their celebrations tonight and I could hear the booms and cracks quite clearly. So could my neighbor's dog. Usually a quiet little dog, he began a high pitched howling shortly after the explosions began. This was a really awful sound of panic and great distress. Very soon another dog joined in and it seemed that they were setting eachother off. They seemed to be getting more and more hysterical and I felt called to do something.Without much thought I began tapping for the dogs. "Even though I'm so scared of the loud sounds, my master loves me and will protect me and I'm safe" "Even though the other dogs are scared too, so it must be something really bad, my master will keep me safe" "Even though these sounds are freaking me out, I'm going to be okay and my master will protect me". I began tapping through the points as if I were the dogs "these loud sounds" "so afraid" "these scary sounds". Within two or three minutes the dogs completely stopped howling and barking. Given that they'd been howling for 15 minutes straight and were only getting worse, I believe it was the tapping that made the change.
Since tomorrow night is the Fourth of July, I may get another chance to practice this surrogate tapping for dogs. If you encounter any freaked out animals, be sure to give it a try!
Great News!
When Gary decided to retire, near the end of last year, his website stayed up, but the newsletters stopped coming. And then he announced that the website would have to come down too, and eventually set a date of June 1st.
This was very bad news, since that website contains a treasure trove of information and hundreds of articles and case studies for just about every problem you could imagine. As a practitioner I've used the search bar countless times for ideas and inspiration.
The thought of losing this wealth of knowledge was devastating. Hundreds of thousands of us were holding our breath, waiting for Gary's final announcement.
Yesterday that announcement came. And though Gary's website emofree.com is indeed closing, it has been replaced by eftuniverse.com, run by Dawson Church and will contain all of the old information plus an ongoing stream of new articles and case studies.
And the newsletter is back! If you'd like to subscribe, and I highly recommend it, you can click here to sign up.
From the EFT community I'm hearing a vast sigh of relief.
EFT Free
One good thing that did come out of the months of uncertainty is another EFT website eftfree.net, which has become a parallel repository of EFT knowledge and case studies.
Recently they published their own EFT manual, a free pdf download. I recommend this site to anyone interested in deepening their knowledge of this powerful healing tool.
If you haven't been tapping lately, why not jump on board this energetic bandwagon and tap away some old emotional baggage?
If you'd like help, I've decided to offer half off your first session, phone or office for the month of June! Feel free to call me if you have any questions. 707-280-8134
Letting Go of a Weight Issue
Recently I’ve been working with “Ken” who is seriously overweight. He’s about 5’8 but weighs well over 300 pounds and, as you might imagine, this is a real problem for him. However, it’s not a problem we’ve been working on. It’s actually well down the list.Ken had it pretty rough growing up, with abandonment, brutal beatings and verbal abuse by his various caretakers, sexual abuse, you name it. All of these factors have contributed to a rather unhappy adult life, and we have been working steadily on discharging the negative emotions and beliefs intertwined with Ken’s traumatic memories.
After one particularly productive session Ken found himself “bingeing” all during the week. He was feeling very upset with himself and hopeless about ever returning to a normal size, so I came up with some homework for him around food.
Like most addictions, over eating is essentially a tranquilizer, used to quell deep down anxiety. As he begins to feel stronger, less anxious and more peaceful, Ken’s need to comfort himself with food will gradually disappear.
The problem is that his “tranquilizer” is generating its own anxiety! A classic vicious circle.
I asked Ken to notice every time he finds himself scarfing down the comfort food. Instead of struggling to stop himself, his task is to embrace that underlying desire to nurture and care for himself, and tap something like the following:
“Even though I’m eating this tub of ice cream, and I know it’s not really good for my health, I deeply love and completely accept myself, it’s been a rough day and I just need to feel better right now” and then as he tapped the points “eating this ice cream….I need some comfort….it’s been a hard day…..I love and accept myself anyway….this ice cream…etc.”
The idea is just to recognize that urge to take action to feel better. This “I’m going to eat sweets to feel better” program was probably adopted when Ken was pretty young, just a small child. Instead of battling against it with will power, the idea is to sidle up next to it and put his arm around its shoulders, so to speak.
The message is “Yes! It’s tough out there and we really want to feel better right now! And I love you for sharing that with me, we’re on the same side”. This is an honest and genuine message, because really it’s just the method for feeling better that’s in question.
Now even if Ken does this wholeheartedly, he’s liable to also feel a familiar sense of self-disgust or even self-loathing. He knows very well that ice cream is hurting him and feels angry, powerless and hopeless about not being able control his eating. And this is another level to tap on.
This “I’m going to hate myself healthier” program was likely adopted later on, possibly in the teenage years, but the motivation is actually just the same—to nurture and care for himself. Unfortunately this battle for control with the younger (and more powerful) “Eat sweets” program creates enough stress and anxiety all on its own to keep Ken bingeing.
I suggested a second and later course of tapping, something like this:
“Even though I’m so disgusted with myself for eating that ice cream, I deeply love and completely accept myself for wanting to be healthy and for wanting to take better care of myself.” And then tapping the points “This self-disgust…this desire to be healthy…this self-loathing…it’s been a hard day…. this need to take better care of myself…etc.”
So eat the ice cream. Enjoy it! And tap in appreciation for that desire to feel better, to nurture yourself. And then tap like crazy on any self-disgust that comes up. Tap in appreciation for trying to take control of your health, for trying to take better care of yourself.
I’m not suggesting this is all that’s required to lose weight, but it might take care of the issue enough to tackle the more fundamental issues. And as your anxiety is tapped away, the desire for that ice cream will go with it.
Specializing
So I just ordered new business cards. They are double sided and here's the front and back.
Of course, I'll still help folks any way I can, but having this new focus is already helping me refine my skills, and hopefully reach more people who can use my assistance.
Someone asked me "Why divorce recovery?" and it took me some time to answer that question. What I've come to realize is that while divorce is usually a horrible experience to go through, it really sets the stage for tremendous personal growth. With just a little bit of assistance (tap tap tap), I've seen people go from flat out miserable to genuinely happy, energized and excited about their future. I live for this sort of quantum leap!
Helping people overcome trauma and PTSD isn't usually as much fun, but it's tremendously satisfying work that I seem born to do. I'm hoping in the near future to deepen my skills by working with war vets, police and emergency medical folks, who may have taken on severe trauma in the public service. But so many people have horrific experiences to offload, and every single time we tap the darkness away, the world seems a little brighter.
Core Beliefs
One of the things that makes EFT so exciting to me is that we can change our subconscious 'core beliefs' that so heavily influence (or wreak havoc on) our daily lives. These beliefs can be very powerful, even though we may be completely unaware of them, sabotaging our efforts to change our lives for the better.This morning I came across a brilliant explanation of Core Beliefs by EFT practitioner Mary Jones of the UK. Her writing is clear, concise and thorough. Check it out here: Core Belief Change.
photo by Pierre Vossen
Insomnia
If you’ve ever had insomnia you know how awful it can be. No matter how tired you may be, you just awake in bed, feeling the need for sleep, sometimes desperately, yet sleep won’t come. It can be excruciating.
Sometimes EFT can provide immediate relief. Many people have had great results simply tapping on “can’t sleep, can’t sleep, can’t sleep”, even if they are only tapping mentally so as to not wake up their partner. Sometimes this works and sometimes not.
I think this direct approach works best when the problem is mainly due to a build up of daily life anxiety. Most of us have times when our stress level seems to spike. Gearing up for exams, pre-wedding jitters, getting ready for an important interview, having a bad argument, all sorts of events can make us feel overloaded with unfinished business, worry about the future and regrets about the past. EFT can really help smooth out the anxiety and allow us the rest we need.
Chronic insomnia is a whole different animal, and in my experience, it needs a more in-depth intervention.
Our ego has a lot of important jobs to do. Most of these are pretty obvious. We rely on our ego to get us through the day, make countless observations, judgments and decisions. We can’t really function very well without this central sense of “I”. And at the end of the day we expect our ego to simply knock off work, shut down, turn off and leave us to the unconscious mind where we can rest and dream.
That’s all well and good, except for one little thing. Sometimes we’ve given our ego a special job, a secret job, a job that’s so important it feels like ‘do or die’. That job is to keep certain memories at bay. To keep them far away from our conscious awareness. To repress them by any means necessary.
Perhaps the original event we mustn’t remember actually was life threatening. Or perhaps it only felt so at the time. Either way, the memory is overloaded with too much emotion, whether it’s fear, horror, grief, guilt, shame or what have you. The ego’s job is to keep these memories at bay. This can be a top priority job, especially at times when outside circumstances have stirred things up or triggered the original feelings.
Sometimes, just as they are falling asleep, some people get a terrible jolt of adrenaline, forcing the ego back on the job. This is a likely sign that memories that have been kept at bay by the ego, have come rushing in, triggering the fight or flight reaction.
So how can the ego shut down and turn off and still keep these feelings and memories at bay? Maybe it can’t. In the face of this seemingly impossible impasse, the ego will pay almost any price to stay awake and keep you ‘safe’. No wonder so many people resort to various drugs to shut it down. Who can blame them?
When someone is suffering from chronic insomnia, and simple, direct EFT doesn’t help much, or at all, the true remedy is to address those highly charged memories and drain them of their emotional content. This may take more than a session or two, depending on how many traumas need to be cleared, but it should be very do-able, especially if you have help. And there will be many other benefits beyond a good night’s sleep.
If you feel anxious addressing your traumatic memories, or if you aren’t sure what they are and need some help with detective work, you may want to find a skilled practitioner for help and guidance.
Meta Tapping
Here is an example of wording I used with a client who was heavily "reveresed" and not making much progress:
First the set up statements: Even though the energy system surrounding my heart is disrupted and enmeshed with negative emotions, this tapping is sending pulses of energy directly into that energy system, and these pulses are carrying my intention to feel better.
Even though I have this painful disruption in the energy system around my heart, I am tapping pulses of energy right now, and these pulses are impacting that energy system and straightening it out. These pulses are carrying my intention to love and accept myself.
Even though my heart is enmeshed in a disrupted energy system, the tapping I am doing right now this very moment is smoothing out the tangles and straightening out the disruptions, slowly but surely with every single tap.
And then as reminder phrases: This tapping, This tapping is sending pulses into my energy field. This tapping is carrying the power of my intention to heal. This tapping is smoothing out the disruption. This tapping. This tapping is shaking out the trapped pain in my energy system. This tapping is working even now, slowly but surely. Every single tap is carrying healing intention into my energy system.
My energy system is becoming smooth and there is nothing for the negativity to grab on to. My energy system is becoming slick and the negativity has no way to cling to it. My energy system is smoothing out. Every tap is carrying smoothing energy into my system. Any negativity is now sloughing off.
I threw this in at the end: No matter how negative I feel I accept myself. No matter how tired I become I accept myself. I accept myself right now and I accept all my negative feelings and I accept the way that I am changing. I accept my anger. I accept my guilt and shame. It doesn’t matter how bad I feel, I’m going to accept myself anyway. I accept myself for feeling better and I accept myself for feeling stuck.
I think this might be an exciting approach to explore. I'd love to hear from anyone who gives it a try.